Steve Ball Key Grip
Unlike Batman, the years Steve spent in an underground Mongolian prison didn’t make him a super-strong fighting machine. Instead, it left him with thrombosis, gout, a urinary infection, ulcers, a lazy eye, bloating, toenail fungus, and severe gingivitis.
Charlie Ruffner Key Grip
Charlie has been running an illegal monkey fighting ring for years. It’s so unexpected, it’s not technically illegal. He uses his Grip job to launder the gambling money and employ his zombie family members. Some think that his “son” Corey is actually a monkey fighter he just keeps shaved. IMDB Charlie right here!
Corey Ruffner Feng Shui Consultant
Corey pretended to know about bullshit Feng Shui crap before it was cool to pretend to know about bullshit Feng Shui crap. He burned plenty of herbs around the stage to purge the “Spirits, Monsters and Red Heads”. He seemed high all the time, but no one was killed by a Spirit, Monster or a Red Head. IMDB Corey right here!
Bret Scott Gaffer
Bret’s nickname in the Navy was FireRat. When he was discharged for the giant Rat Fire on the USS Tahoe in 1992 he hid out with carny workers, until he was adopted by a family of electricians.
Rob Chatlin Editor
As a non-union bee keeper Rob made a comfortable living until the World Wide Bee Revolt of 1997. During his 9 month recovery from bee sting poisoning, he ran through his “Pretty Good Health Insurance Sold On TV By A Duck,” and had to join the BeeKeepers Union. He would have joined earlier if he’d knon there was a Hooker stipend.
Levi Ogner Camera
Levi owed some guys in Vegas a little “favor,” AKA $200,000. So he had to cook a little meth with these bikers in Barstow for a few years. He lists it as “A Startup Marketing Internship” on his resume, but all of his references are in prison.
Thor Gold 1st AD
His work with the Guardian Angels in the 90’s was legendary. As Curtis Silwa’s personal beret handler, Thor invented what was to become The Lint Roller, or as Thor called it, “Backwards Tape!”
Ellen Rosgold AD
When she escaped from an Italian Gypsy camp at the age of 6 Ellen was mistaken for the kidnapped heir to the Croatian Royal Family. When she failed that blood test she was sent to work at Germany’s largest Cuckoo Clock Theme Park.
Amanda Nilo Makeup
Just like Jonah and Pinocchio, Amanda was swallowed by a whale. But the Japanese whaling ship using her as bait quickly slaughtered that whale and made lamp oil from it. The Japanese love lamp oil.
Adrea Sweet Weinbrecht Wardrobe
Robert Warnack Sound
When his mother broke the news to Robbie that Bazooka Joe wasn’t real, he turned to the hard stuff. Three weeks of Nesquik and Pixy Stix later, he woke up in bed with 14 Oompa Loompas and 2 paternity suits.
Alison Freer Wardrobe
Joey Harris PA
Kirk Robinson PA
Kirk was raised in a swamp and his family didn’t own any towels so he was always a little damp. Every day that he doesn’t have to swim or take a shower is a great day for him. Don’t you wish your bar for “great day” was so low? IMDB Kirk right here!
Skylar Sutton AD
Skylar ran for School Board when she was still in high school just to get a vending machine put into the cafeteria… an underwear vending machine. Her parents still regret that exchange year in Tokyo. IMDB Skylar right here!
Julie Dixon Jackson Hair & Make-up
Julie owned a farm where she raised small animals for the cosmetic companies to test their products upon. They sent back a lot of dead rabbits… that looked FABULOUS! That’s when she knew caustic aerosols were for her. IMDB Julie right here!
Deb O’Brien Camera
Deb used to take pictures of fruit until she went to a museum and realized that old dudes have been painting fruit for years. Now she pole vaults. Let’s see old dudes do that! IMDB Deb right here!
John Weiss Camera Assist
When John watched the weird kid at the FotoMat steal his prom date – on prom night – he knew that the ladies were all about the film. Film, film, film. They love film. So now he never leaves home without his sweet 35 millimeter camera. Just like Ashton Kutcher. Digital what?… what did you say?… IMDB John right here!
Marianne Franco Stills
John Cooper Assister
Doug Minges DIT
Doug likes to tell people that he was trapped in an abandoned school house with a zombie once for 6 weeks. But really, he just did a movie with Christopher Walken in Tuscon and it’s kinda the same thing. IMDB Doug right here!
Brad Traver Director of Photography
Brad, an eager Green Energy supporter, sold solar panels for years. But his Portland Oregon territory made the profits shitty. So he decided on the quick video money instead – but he still turns off lights when he leaves rooms. He’s very serious about that. IMDB Brad right here!
Sean Mulcahy Director
Sean was WAY into white slavery until he found that directing was like owning slaves, but not having to feed them. Win – Win. He is hoping to direct a show where his house gets painted and somebody does some freakin’ yard work around here! For Christ’s sake! IMDB Sean right here!
Jim Towns Consultant
Born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and raised by a single mother, Jim Towns grew up with a fascination for Universal horror films of the past like Frankenstein, The Wolf Man and The Creature from the Black Lagoon- and the artistry used to make these classic masterpieces.
Jim pursued drawing and painting in high school and eventually was granted a scholarship to the Savannah College of Art & Design, graduating with a degree in the school’s new Sequential Art BFA program. He showed successfully in galleries in New York City for several years before returning to Pittsburgh in 1999, where he co-directed his first short, The Sleep of Reason. The film won the Pgh Film Workers’ Society’s coveted ‘Creature’ award. Together with fellow filmmaker Mike McKown he embarked on the ambitious follow-up Prometheus Triumphant; a Fugue in the Key of Flesh— a black and white silent feature inspired by the German Expressionist masterpieces The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and Nosferatu.
Prometheus took over five years to complete and another year to land distribution through Cinema Epoch, but was subsequently critically-acclaimed by critics and industry peers alike. Kevin Thomas from the LA Times called it “A stunning homage to the pure power of silent cinema’ and Guillermo del Toro called it “A little f*cking masterpiece”. By now Jim was already a working screenwriter in Los Angeles, but he returned to Pittsburgh in 2009 to direct his second feature, STIFF.
In 2011 Jim directed his third film, the supernatural crime thriller House of Bad, co-produced by his new company Shadow Kamera Films.
Jim’s other projects in development include the screenplay for the serial killer thriller Survival Knife, the dark comedy Manhaters! (for The Traveling Picture Show Co.), a ½ hour zombie sitcom called “The Living End”, and the supernatural Western A Man with a Gun, starring Tony (Candyman) Todd.
He currently lives in Redondo Beach with his wife. IMDB Jim right here!
Mike Rizzolo Consultant
Steve Jarrard Consultant
Beth Falkenstein Exec Producer
Beth got tired of working for the Queen and told her to take her Corgis and shove ’em. The Queen mistook that for a compliment, and to this day, Beth gets invites to Christmas at the Palace and gifts of hats. Lots of hats. IMDB Beth right here!
Jim Falkenstein Writer/ Props/Bon Vivant
The Canadian Parliament has declared June 12th “Throw a Rock at Jim Falkenstein Day.” He is not proud of the things he did during that Beaver Throwing competition in Edmonton, but hopes that one day, he can make amends by writing Canada a new, kick-ass, National Anthem. IMDB Jim right here!