Night Run

  • During the race Quetzalcoatl came to me complaining about the lack of virgins in the afterworld. I told him the Suicidal Muslims were hogging them all.

  • I used my headlamp to help Pappy Boyington’s Corsair land when it flew through a black hole from 1944.

  • The Scientologist Aliens did kill a few people with their “Starting Lasers.”

  • I had forgotten that the Scientologists had donated the spaceship which ceremonially started the race.

  • The lights form the constellation “Orthopedius” the Greek God of Orthopedic Surgeons.

  • At the starting line, my competition was replaced with the crowd from a local Rave.

  • Another 5k - another field full of corporate sponsors trying to buy me off with free key chains and Vitamin Water.

  • Ah, this must be the “night” part people were talking about.

  • at night a lake, and a lake of human blood, look exactly the same.

  • Luckily, for humanity, I captured and killed Xenu. He had tried disguising himself as a wet, muddy shirt.

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