There was less air in that pool than I had expected.
Most of these bikes cost more than my car.
Derrick "The Human Bug" Tanner prepares to ride.
Derrick fills his tires with helium... an old Lance Armstrong trick.
Derrick after his ride. He may have pulled his sphincter. Which, coincidentally is the name of his new band, "Pulled Sphincter!"
Derrick makes the smart move of starting before "The Lawn Chair Guy"
My pre-race ritual of paying tribute to Elvis.
I'm so far out front it's as though I cheated or something... okay, I cheated.
We finished the race first thing so we wouldn't have to worry about it when we were tired.
I taught this stance to Usain Bolt.
No drug testing, so I shot my special "Barry Bonds" mixture right into my arm.
Derrick and I would like to introduce you to our two friends - Thunder, and Lightning.
When you're so far back in the pack, how will people know you're #1 unless you tell them?
That's Search and Rescue. I think one of them lost their car keys.
Lounging poolside during the swimming portion. They were woefully understaffed at their swim-up bar.
We may be old, but we're not dead.
I made that guy fall down and cry... who's next!?
Winning is more fun than sucking.
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